I HAVE BEEN BACK: for a while... ^^"

howdy doo buckeroos?

well, i've been in america for like over 2 weeks now. back in the land of food and drink!!! *woot woot* all the random posts before this were my attempts at trying to keep up with what was going on with me at that particular moment. right now, this morning, i am in my time of solace. just chillin' and waitin' for the phone call to come, informing me to pick up mi madre from carmax where she is officially pawning my father's vehicle. *nods solemnly*

SO, I have not had any reverse culture shock. Not really, anyhoo. The first thing I did notice when I got back to America is that Americans are huge. Really. Seriously. Big. American portions are also mighty ridiculous. Beyond that, I have been in a state of constant awe since hopping off the airplane at the incredible beauty of America. There's just so much green!!! and BLUE!!! I seriously don't think that I'll ever take the blue skies over America for granted ever again. America is just beautiful. Period.

This past weekend was a G-Splash 留学生 Reunion, of sorts. Kay, my mostest amazingest buddy, came down from Pennsylvania. Diana, most amazingest West Coast-er EVER, flew over to D.C. to tour around the area with her family. Jeannette, hottest b-girl known to mankind, met up with us in D.C. It was amazing. At first I was hesitant, afraid that now that we are all out of Japan, we wouldn't be able to really get along ever again. BUT, boy was I wrong! We just all clicked. It was so natural, as if we were still just milling about the outside of the gym, hanging out, talking about G. As strange as it is to say, G-Splash is the only thing that I'll miss about Japan. When we all got together here on the east coast, most of our time was spent reminiscing about the fantastic-ness that was our cumulative G-Splash experience.

The worst thing about being back in the U.S. is that all I do is eat. Seriously. Food is the one thing central to American culture and I've just spent hours upon hours doing nothing but eating. When Kay first came down on Saturday I ate 4 meals, in one day. Luckily, we walked it out with D-Bang all the way to the Lincoln Memorial, but... 4 meals/one day = GROSSNESS. The next day, the first thing we did when we woke up was order pizza from Papa John's, sit, and veg out in front of the television. Then, we finally took showers and headed out to D.C. to meet with Jeannette at Teaism, and ate some more.

Ahhh... G-Splash, how I wish you were here, keeping me from bloating up like a whale again. *shrugs* It's okay. All I need is a mirror/reflective surface to keep up with my 　自主練.

I need to peace out now. My head's getting all spinny.

- T　

HOUSE ROCKS

*collapses in a dead faint*





*hand reaches out for help*





HI FRIENDS AND FAMILY

I am one of the last UVA-ers here in the Land o' SAMURAI. I am tired out of my mind. I am in desperate need of more time and a decent scale.

So, House practice is officially whooooooooooooopin' my butt. I'm so tired I can barely move my body and the moves are actually all in my head, I just can't get my body to move to it. Extremely frustrating and made worse by the fact that the time in which we're allowed to do independent practice is practically null. I have like nowhere to work out my moves full out, and this is the first time I've ever been driven to do so. There are so few people in House that every person and every move counts.

Tomorrow is Friday, the 1st of August. Campus is closed. Practice should happen elsewhere.

Saturday, 2nd of August. The day before Summer CAMP starts.

-----

Practice will be held at Yasuda Dance Studio, but I don't have to head out there until 5.30pm at Shinjuku. That means I have like 6 hours until I have to move my butt. On my long list of things to do: grab presents for Poppa Bear, Brother Bear, and Baby Brother Bear; a scale for me and my box o' heaviness; t-shirt/clothes from used clothes store; pack; practice for House.

今学期末終了： ワクワク

HI YOOOOOOOOOO~

Well, finals are over, classes are OWARI, and I have almost all the free time in the world. Almost. G-Splash Practice is picking up speed, and I should be practicing at the very moment, but... yeah... XDDD

期末試験： スカット

YA-HOOOOOO!!!

Well, I'm currently watching Woman in the Dunes and drinking a 500mL can of "strong" Chuhai. I can't finish this movie without some form of alcohol in me and it's rather sad... XDDD. I have two finals tomorrow, the middle two finals that I have left. On Friday, it's just one final, but it's the one that promises to be the most difficult.

Life this week has been rather chill for me despite the fact that many of my friends are soon to be vamoosing and I'm likely to never see them again. I really hope that doesn't happen, because just the thought of it kind of hurts.

Between practice and finals, my life has gone to the pots. All I kind really look forward to is that finals will end Friday, and by 8pm Friday night, practice will have run its course and I'll be free to play all weekend until Tuesday, when practice starts up again. Luckily/unluckily, we have all night House practice on Tuesday night until Wednesday morning at about 5am. Mayuki-san also wants to turn our Thursday practice at Nakano into an all nighter, possibly. Oh well. House is rather awesome. The senpai are kind, attentive, and truly willing to help. I've been watching some of the older videos of House and there were either a lot more of us before, or people from other genres randomly join us for our performance. If not, it's only going to be me, Geri, Emi, Jiro, Yuuta, Mayuki, Yukie, Akihiko, Mami, Tomochika, and Sakura up on stage. That means that if any of us messes up... it'll be really super obvious.

The only thing that I can say for sure is that Jishuren works!!! You just really have to commit yourself to it, and the self-practice helps as long as your willing to put forth the effort to improve. This is the first time in my life that I've actually taken independent practice like this seriously. I still feel like a tool most of the time, but I know that my endurance is improving by leaps and bounds and I can literally feel some of the moves becoming more comfortable to my body.

Ewww... okay... the guy in the movie just licked his hand like a poodle while testing out the cleanliness of the water condensed from the sand in the hole he's been tossed into.

I didn't like the book much, the movie really isn't doing it for me either. The only thing that's keeping me semi-focused is the fact that I'm running on a slight buzz and typing this at the same time that the movie is playing.

I can't believe Greg, Natalie, and Jen will be heading home soon. Mia's plans are unclear to me. Sehyun is planning on staying here for a little while longer and traveling around with his sister. Jeanette will be at camp with me.

Gah, 20 minutes until this boring movie is over and I can head to bed. The only thing is that I'll be waking at 5am, studying for my finals, heading to class by 8am, testing until 12.30 pm, 1 hour lunch break, and then modern fiction final from 1.30 until 3pm. Oh yeah, and then I'll do jishuren for 2 hours until 5pm, when House practice runs from 5.00pm until 8.00pm. I could run home and sleep, but either way, I'd have to be back at Sophia byat least 4.30pm or so to really stretch before practice.

Oh yeah, I've taken to watching American dramas on TV, and Supernatural, CSI:Miami, and Bones are all fantastic options. I download Japanese dramas, just like I do in America, so I don't have to deal with ads and all that.

It'll be less than 3 weeks now until I can go home. I miss my family like no other. I think that as soon as finals are over, I'll enjoy House practice 13924891273129x more, because right now, it's just super tiring to go to practice, knowing that I'll be screwed for the next day's preparations and whatnot. I just want to pass my classes. Honestly. I could pull A's if I really cared, but I don't. I'm beyond caring at this point. I just want to pass my classes, play with the G-Splash kids during camp, and then go home to my family.

I forgot my Dad's birthday because I was so wrapped up in my own drama. Seriously. My mom had to call me and remind me of what I'd forgotten. He forgave me, but I know he must've been hurt by me not calling. Oh well. I intend to make him a delicious cake when I get home. I want to cook for my family!!! I want to make them delicious foods and stand around all day around a stove, making sure that the food I make for them is good enough for them to indulge in. I want to hear all the meaningless banter that makes their lives so interesting. I want my family... here, with me, like pronto.

I had a semi-dream today when I was napping. I had a dream that Johnny was there, and he gave me the best hug ever. It was so realistic that I can't wait to go home and just touch my family. That's one thing I think I'll never get used to in Japan. I like being touched and held by my friends and family. When I'm here, unless a guy is trying to snake into my drawers, nobody holds me, nobody hugs me. There's no real comfort touching. Well, D-Bang and Kay and the UVA crew hugs me, but it's because we're all American. I just want to be in friendly arms again and feel well and truly loved... XDDD

Too much to ask for ain't it?

Well, I got my kouhai [by age, not experience] semi-drunk on Friday night. Emi was super cute. Jiro only had one drink so that was rather muri. I did run into a whole bunch of my G-Splash senpai though. Apparently Ikkyuu is the place to be to get tipsy on Friday nights. Hitosu-senpai was seriously wasted. Tonbo-senpai was like the energizer bunny and thus dubbed "power house" by Kaoru-senpai. Kaoru-senpai actually talked to me and though he claimed to be drunk, was actually quite sober by my standards. Oh yeah, and no matter how much I tried to push for it, nobody would tell me their bakuro [secret]. I was rather disappointed by that... yup yup.

MOVIE IS OVER!!! *laughs* I sleep now!!!

Love,

T

AMERICA

<---- okay, that was google'd...

AHOY WORLD!!! It's literally the final full week of classes, and guess how I'm spending the 2nd to last day of kanji class? In a computer lab. Writing this. *grins*

I have less than 3 weeks until I fly back to America and besides the amazing, non-Japanese friends I've made here, I don't think I'll miss Japan much. It has many amazing points, but once you've been here for a while, you quickly realize how it's just like every other country in the world and unfortunately enough, refuses to acknowledge many of its negative points. At least in America, we look around at ourselves and go, "Yeah, damn, we are kind of chubby, huh? Oh well! Bring on the TURKEY!!!" In Japan, all the girls strive to look exactly like the Photoshop'ed models in ads and are in fact succeeding at it, in a very scary, "Man, can I buy you a hamburger?" sort of way. But yeah... ENOUGH WITH MY NO NO RANTS!!!

I'm looking forward to finishing out my last few days here with a BANG.

I have no idea how that'll work, but I do know that I want to spend as much time as possible with my friends here and go out with them constantly. I'm kind of Japan'ed out, so I don't really want to travel. I mean, if my friends want to go somewhere, than I'll come with, but me planning out something intense like heading to Hokkaido or something just won't happen.

House practice officially started yesterday and was awesome! I know I need tons of practice, so I've been gradually acclimating myself to it by listening to House music for hours on end. *laughs* We have practice every week from 5.30 pm until 7.30 pm or so. Most times we stay until 8ish or so and then finally clean up, leaving 30 minutes for people to chill, chat or do some more practice on their own. All of the House-senpai are ridiculously nice and cool. They are also ridiculously patient, which gives me an incredible amount of relief as I know that I'm slow and that my body has a tendency towards the ridiculous.

Man, oh man, I'm having the time of my life adding all of these randomly Japanesey pictures to this entry of mine. EVERYBODY SHOULD DO THE SAME!!! The link is:
http://kids.nifty.com/material/index.htm

Okay, wow, adding pictures took up a lot of time because I had to master the usage and difference of [p] versus [br]. I'm good now. BACK TO LIFE!

I am officially, completely and utterly, totally tabehoudai'ed out.

No more endless amounts of meat and vegetables for me. I need my food in portions now. *smiles* I had yakiniku tabehoudai [all you can eat] with Kay on Sunday at Gut's Soul in Yoyogi for 1980yen. This is an amazing price for the amount of food we ate, that and we ordered the highest class. Prices there range from 1280yen to the 1980yen course. I really wanted to eat Korean kalbi, so that's why we pushed forward with the priciest course. You can also add nomihoudai to it for just another 1020yen. Ridiculous and delicious!

I have 5 minutes before I need to be in front of building 11 to help Kay out. So, here I vamoose off!!! I hope everybody enjoyed the ridiculous pictures. I'll upload all the crap on my laptop soon. I have an amazingly stable internet connection now... so I really have no excuses to be holding back.

Much Love,
T

Not REALLY New, but Interesting Nonetheless

7.05.08

And so, the count down begins. I’m actually still really ridiculously tired even after the nap I had today, so I’m just waiting to be called on down for the final “talk.”

Today I went to see a Noh play with Geri and her friends. James, who’s this wonderfully nice guy from the U.K and is in my class, went too. I also re-met this guy named Pablo, who seems really nice and very funny, and Geri’s other friend, Erica, who actually lives in Chantilly and is from NOVA. I only made it through Kyogen and we left soon after the masks appeared in the Noh play. I was literally about to pass out and though I understood every 5 words or so, I just didn’t want to focus all that hard on being entertained. That’s why I like Japanese dramas, the acting is super good and the Japanese totally makes sense to me.

Well, after we walked out of the National Noh Theatre, I headed on home. I got back using a key, yes, I was left a key, and just chilled on the first floor for a long while, playing on my computer and watching television whilst enjoying the relief being in an air-conditioned room gave me. Meimi arrived home after me, so I got to open the door for her, which is super duper rare/I can’t remember the last time I ever did it, if I did. I took a nap at about 5ish, slept for lil bit, woke up, and now here I am.

I think I just heard my host father get home, and it is night time now. My host mom will probably text me to go downstairs. I’m just super tired, numb, and wanting this to be over.

It’s over. Next day, next round… last night was good at first, but my host mom kept pressing for solid reasons for why I wanted to leave and I couldn’t give them to her. Until she kept pressing and pressing, forcing me into a corner, making me give her a reason she could assent to. Literally, assent to as in [nattoku dekiru]. So, I finally told her about the common sense thing she said to me a month ago and all the comments she’d made to me about Americans, and me being an American [as if that were a bad thing].

I really tried not to hurt her feelings or the feelings of anyone in the house. My intention is to leave without injuring those who have taken care of me all these months. But, as I had apparently twisted her words as I heard them, she too has twisted mine. The official reason she is giving her family for my leave is that I hate her and that she is the original cause of all my strife. Turn about is fair play, but her doing that just makes me want to leave even more quickly. I don’t want to be in a household where I’ve come to be despised, I don’t need to deal with that.

I kept telling her that I liked her and her family, that I’m leaving now in order to walk away with just happy memories, but she couldn’t deal with that. Eventually she just straight up told me that it was a bother [meiwaku] for me to have misinterpreted her words. Her sense of responsibility forced all these scenarios out of her to explain why I might have been uncomfortable such as the fact that she’s a housewife and hasn’t really interacted in the world in a long while [not true because she does have friends and was just playing with them yesterday], or that she’s not selective enough with her words. Fact of the matter is, no matter how pretty you make something sound, the message behind it remains essentially unchanged. I guess, in me saying that, I acknowledge that some part of me hates her, as I am indeed leaving and all. However, I don’t actively hate her. Hating people takes a lot of time and energy out of life.

I kind of got done with hating people at the end of high school. I gave up on hate because as good as it feels to feel morally superior to someone else and whatnot, it’s just a super waste of time that accomplishes nothing. I’m human and all, but I don’t hate. I dislike, everyone does. What I feel towards my host mom has nothing to do with animosity or acrimony, I’m just weary of the entire situation.

I’ll accept this right now; I was probably not built for home stay. Some other people are, those who don’t speak the language well and want to have a base with which to learn and grow from, those who have lived with their families their entire lives and are used to the close-knit interactions that come with that, and those who are much more willing to change their entire lives to suit that of another culture’s.

I think I ought to begin packing. I have lots of stuff and not much time left. The money my parents wired should arrive by Monday. I will be signing the contract Tuesday. The apartment is reserved for my move-in on Wednesday. I have G-Splash practice on Tuesday from 5:45pm to 8 or so. I have class every morning from 9:15 to 12:30. The only thing that makes this week easier is a break from Modern Fiction on Monday. I have to catch up on homework and make sure I don’t fall behind because of this.

Whatever happens… fact of the matter is that I’m out.

One of the major causes of problems from last night’s talk was that my host family was sure that they could convince me to stay and was determined to do so, feeling that it was a sure win for them given enough time and thinking. I came to the talks with the reserve to leave at any and all costs. I admit it, half way through I wanted to change my mind and stay, but that’s what happened before. I’m like an abused wife, kind of, dangle the slightest bit of bait in front of me and the pain that’s been done to me is momentarily forgotten and all I want to do is return to the good times, except there were no good times.

Communication is key. Don’t hold back when someone asks for your opinion. If you have one, say it. Otherwise, you’ll end up like me, a cautionary tale of the bads of homestay.

I need to begin packing a bit now. I’m still waiting for Mia’s phone call. Hopefully, she’ll call me in time for me to escape lunch with the host family.

- T

And thus, here I am, to report the final round of “battle word play” with the Matsumoto family. My host mother has finally assented to letting me leave the house. Our final talk happened tonight, after I got home and was waiting for the shower. I kept trying to go in, but there was always somebody in there for the hour that I tried. That’s when I realized it was really weird and decided to get cracking on my packing. When I went downstairs to check if the shower was available at 9ish or so, my host mom met up with me on the stairs and called me on down to the living room. My host dad was already there.

The conversation went pretty much the same as all the other conversations before, except this time I didn’t even bother to try correcting her or telling her anything. She needed this talk a lot more than I did. She told me I was weak for not sticking it through. My parents did me wrong by not being there for me when I was growing up. I failed to endure/develop through this hard-won chance at home stay. I need to grow up, get a job, and take shit from strangers for 3 years before I’ll get recognized by them.

Well, no… I can say that in a much nicer, much less acrimonious way, and here it is:

One day, you’ll enter into the real world, and it won’t be as nice nor as kind as the life you’ve been living. A student’s life is nothing compared to the hardships you’ll endure in the real world. When I was younger, just like you, and had to begin working for the first time, my father told me this, “Give it three years. No matter what happens, don’t give up and just stick it out. If you want to leave after those three years, then do. But, give it three years before you make the final decision to quit.” I worked hard for those three years. There were many difficult times that made me cry and want to quit more than anything. Afterwards, I thought, ‘Ah yes, now I can finally quit.’ However, those three years had changed me and I realized I could continue on. Also, because my superiors had seen me stick it out for three years, they finally recognized me and all the efforts I’d put into my work.

That’s the story my host mom wants me to remember as I leave this house. I will, partly because it’s a good story and partly because she twisted it towards the end. She essentially told me I’d fail at being a doctor because my selfish ways will lead my patients to suffering. She said that because I didn’t have the will to see this through, I am a failure.

Tell me. How would you respond to that?

Me? I smiled, nodded, and let her say her peace. After all, I’m leaving.

The only problem I’m facing with them now is money. Apparently, they’re “okay” with returning the money for the meals that I won’t eat here for the remaining month, but they want to deduct the price of the laundry machine that “I broke,” the 40,000yen wireless router that “I made them buy,” and the door that “I broke by using too much force.” I’m fine with paying for the laundry machine and the door, even though neither were really broken by me. As for the router, I feel like if I’m really dropping $400 on it, I ought to keep it, no? I mean, they are seriously wanting to charge me for it… so shouldn’t I be able to take it back with me?

Also, the laundry machine? Wasn’t broken! It’s actually broken now because now it no longer weighs the amount of laundry put into it and decides washing/drying cycles from there. The guy who fixed it fucked up because it doesn’t do anything that it did before. The Matsumoto’s thought it was broken because it would add time to a drying cycle in case the laundry didn’t dry in the calculated time. Now, this is a bit normal to me because my dryer is automatic as well and decides the drying time based on the amount of moisture in the clothes. Now, no matter how little or how much laundry I dry, the cycle is for 5 hours unless I input the time myself.

And the door? It wasn’t broken until my host dad tried to fix it. After his attempt at fixing it I had to use force to close the door or else it wouldn’t close. It was totally fine before that. This was a little bit before I left for Kyoto and came back, realizing how hard it was for me to close my door. But, because it was my door and my privacy at hand, I closed it anyways. This resulted in a number of small scratches on the opening of the door where I had to lift it in order to close it.

This money that they’re talking about isn’t mine. It’s my parents. My parents worked damn hard for that money, so eventually… I think I will have to talk it out with them. I’m tired of having this hang over me. Give me my peace and stop trying to screw me over. Honestly…

Oh well, I still think there is tons of hope in home stay in general. I got to spend the day today with Mia, her host mom Touhara-san, and Jeannette. Her host mom was amazing and took us to ride a boat from Hamamatsucho to Asakusa. After that she treated us to an amazing lunch with an incredible view in Asahi’s Beer Tower [I don’t know it’s real name XDD]. Mia talks with her host mom a lot, so Jeannette and I were bound to come up in the conversation from time to time. Her host mom talked with me a bit about me moving out of my home stay, and she said that as a host mom, things like that do happen and it’s very sad. She didn’t try to patronize me or make me change my mind, which I appreciated like none other.

After lunch we walked down to Asakusa and did the tourist thing for a bit. Her mom helped us get Mikuji [fortune papers] and because Jeannette and I got bad luck ones, we got to tie them to bamboo to help us get rid of the evilness of our fortunes. Mia’s host mom left us after that and we just walked around in circles for a bit, doing a little shopping for friends and family. We walked to Ueno station and had dinner there at the Rose and Crown Pub. Guess what we all got?! FISH AND CHIPS!!! It was awesomely yummy and ridiculously filling. We also all ordered drinks because… well, we’re just cool like that. *laughs* I drank a Suntory Premium Black Malt beer, Mia got the Moscow Mule, and Jeannette ordered the Sea Breeze. It just felt right after a long day of broiling under the sun all day.

Oh yeah, if I haven’t mentioned it before, summer is officially here and it’s abso-freakin-lutely DISGUSTING. It’s so humid that the moment you leave any un-air conditioned space, your face bursts into a sea of oil and sweat just floods out of all your pores. I hate it. But, it does make me appreciate dry heat all the more… so I’ll never avoid being outside in VA ever again. EVER!

I need sleepiness. I’m going to head out to Kyobashi tomorrow before going back to my host family’s house and finishing up my packing. I also need to confirm with Enplus when I’ll be available to sign the contract and get the key to my new apartment.

I’m nearly there. I think to celebrate, I should treat everybody to hot pot at that Chinese hot pot restaurant in Shinjuku. I went to the one in Shenzhen and Guangzhou a couple of times and loved it each time. It’ll remind me of home and doing something like hot pot/shabu shabu/sukiyaki with friends is always super fun.

Peace

- T

MOVIN' ON OUT~> TO THE EAST SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIDE XDDD

GOOD MORNING ALL~

Well, kind of, it's beastly beautiful outside, but also freakin' hot as anything so I'm hiding out on the first floor of the Matsumoto house. Speaking of which, attached to the end of this lovely blog entry will be the entry I wrote right after I told my host mom I wanted to move out and talked it over with my mom. Because that's already all covered... I'll start in with the photo.

It's not bakuhatsu nemuri or anything, but yeah, I was coming home tipsy from a night of fun with friends and strangers and there was this guy. He was just OUT. He also took up more than half the bench. I just couldn't help but smile. Everybody else on the seats around him made sure to clear plenty of space from him.

SOOOOO....

Moving on now. *laughs*

Yesterday was awesomely fun. I spent the majority of the day figuring out my housing options and have an apartment all lined up now. I'll be going into the office to pay for it on Tuesday or so, the move-out will take place Wednesday. I still have yet to go through the official last talks with the family, but it's supposed to happen some time tonight. Host mom is running out the door right now, even as I type this, so yeah... XDDD

After the apartment application was filled out, my ID cards scanned, and my life all squared away, I met up with D-Bang and met some new people, Su-an and Yukari, and saw some of her other friends I'd been introduced to before, Sergio and Wa-wa. We chilled in the shade for a bit because yesterday was beastly hot, but eventually we got moving to HARAJUKU! We did some shopping in Harajuku and I had my lunch/pre-dinner meal of a strawberry/chocolate ice cream/ cheese cake/pastry/whip cream CREPE. Oh yes... do be envious. *grins* I scored this awesome deal with a wonderfully blue hoodie for 1050yen! It was just plain ole hot so I ended up changing out of my red baseball tee into my white tank top with the hoodie over it.

We met up with Jeanette a bit laters and we all did some more window shopping. Pretty soon it was time for dinner at Wolfgang Puck's restaurant in Harajuku!!! AMERICAN FOOD!!! ON THE 4th of JULY!!! WHEEEEEE~ Motoi-kun from G-Splash who is was in Harupa's First Year Hip Hop group with me, Jen, Jeannette, and Steph came out too! Unfortunately, both Diana's and Jeannette's cellphones died at the same time, so I ended up texting everybody I had the address of in G-Splash for Motoi's info. It was a very interesting experience.... especially because I asked TONBO-SAN! He was really great about it and we tried to get him to come out with us to do fireworks, but it was a bust. Oh well... we'll just have to wait until camp!

Dan also came out to eat with us, and it's been like months since I've really seen and talked with him. We met up with a bunch of people, but because introductions weren't really done, I didn't know any of them. Well, I started off my meal with a 680 yen SAMUEL ADAMS *cheeeeeeeeeeses*. Bad luck for me, but I don't think it was brewed in the States. Still, I got the Puck Burger and it was delicious and meaty! I only ate half of it, but I got a good chunk of Jen's yummilicious BBQ Chicken wrap[?]. The other half of my burger went to Jen and Motoi. I'm really starting to doubt my "grub on" skills. Especially since Motoi took one look at my plate and was like, "Dude, that's huge, isn't it?" Me: "Yeah... it kind of is..." ^_____^ That's why he got a quarter of my burger. I used to be able to kill the 2 patty Five Guys Burger with no problem. The 4 patty heart attack burger from Wendy's? ATES IT! All you can eat hot pot at home? I ate for HOURS. Now? Not so much.

After we ate and talked for a gooooood looooong while, we were going to head to Shibuya's Don Quixote to buy fireworks, but the majority of us just wanted to drink and chill in Yoyogi Park, so that's what we did. We were there from like 9:30ish until 11:30ish or so, about 2 hours. With two cans of "strong" chuhai, I was able to get a decent buzz and be quite chirpy. I talked to Motoi about lots of stuff, but mainly about the sex culture in Japan and the differences between dating here and dating in America. Jeannette and Diana had schooled him on the culture of evangelizing Christians in America, the problems of Yellow Fever, and other such topics earlier in the restaurant. Me talking with him about why Japanese men stare at my chest when I wear tanks and such was like a joke. XD He's actually quite chill and I really liked hanging out with him.

Let's see, the day before yesterday, the 3rd is the blog that will be added on at the end of this entry. The day before that was WEDNESDAY and Tokyo Disney Sea DAY!!!!

I had a bomb blast time. That's about all I can really say about it. It's expensive as hell to get there and I didn't know about the student discount that would've saved me 1300 yen. But, I did get my awesome Stitch hat and my amazing Mickey visor. I also met some of Diana's amazingly super nice friends like Jackie, Rakellie, Rachel and Emily. Steph went too and I met her friend from VIRGINIA, Nicole. We ended up getting there around 1:30ish or so I think, but we stayed until they kicked us out. XDDD It was a great, long day. Please expect pictures when I can finally get a stable internet connection, which should be like Wednesday.

Okay... here's the entry you'e been waiting for:

7.3.08

Okay, so while these feelings are still fresh and vibrant within me, I need to drop them onto something. I’ve done it. I’ve finally told my host mother I wanted to move out, and I did it with a sad smile. But still, at least I smiled. I wasn’t trying to be mocking or anything, I just needed to smile to keep myself from screaming. Sometimes, at moments like this, when I’m somewhat settling down to the reality of moving out, I realize how selfish my request is.

Leaving after 3 months just because you can’t take it anymore? There’s only 1 month left! Hell, not even! There’s like 28 days left! What a waste! You can’t even get that final month’s worth of money back either! Geez… what are you thinking? How selfish can you be?

And to that, I can’t really say anything because it is reasonably selfish of me to want to leave, to waste my parents’ money like this, to not stick it out for the next 28 days. However, this experience was supposed to be for me to learn the language, the culture, the peoples… and I haven’t done any of that.

After I told Okaa-san that I wanted to move out, she gave me a sigh. I’ve essentially conditioned her to brace for whenever I want to speak to her one on one, because each time I’ve done it was to put my complaints out there. Maybe I’m nothing but complaints, but she knew. I let her speak after I said my peace because… I said my peace. Anything I try to say would just hurt her in the long run and I didn’t want that, so she went on a long spiel about how inconsiderate Americans are [as a people and traditionally speaking], how the family has also been holding back its comments on my behavior, and how my doing laundry really did peeve the absolute hell out of them.

She went on for a while about how because I was still young and ignorant, inexperienced in the ways of society, so I couldn’t be faulted for my shortcomings. She said that she wanted me to stay but could understand if I felt the need to go. She also put it out there that they’ll never host another student again [which I think is for the best].

I nodded and smiled the entire time, encouraging her to let her feelings out. She has a tendency of holding back that barb on me and she lashes out at me at the weirdest/most painful times, so I was just rather wishing for a frontal attack rather than a sneak. She said that she tried her best to see the good in me, because that’s what she does, she tries to see the good in people. I told her the same thing essentially. I’m leaving this house now before these feelings of pain and regret suffocate all memories of staying here. I want to walk away with only the good things that happened like all the delicious meals Okaa-san made, Otou-san’s weirdly random behavior, and Meimi just being Meimi. She told me that’d be impossible to do.

After she said that if I left it’d be a lose/lose for both of us, I told her it was a lose/win because I might be leaving, but I got to meet her, and she, being an essentially good person, is worth meeting. She corrected me, told me I was wrong, and said that I was essentially running away from my problems and not dealing with a situation just because I found it “iya [bad/no good/uncomfortable].” It was “iya” 2 months ago when I went to the Overseas Liaison Center and wanted to leave. Now it’s “kurushii [suffocating/difficult/painful].” I didn’t say that though, again, why hurt somebody who’s already hurting?

It’s over.

I’m out.

I called my mom right afterwards and in the midst of telling her about how much I’d need for an apartment, I broke down crying. Between regret for leaving and joy for finally going through with it, I was just torn. Apparently, she was just surprised I held in there for so long. I have a tendency of sticking through painful situations and trying to deal with them alone. I usually succeed, but the results are scarring. My mom had been curious why I’d stuck with it despite being more than ready to leave 2 months ago. I think it was my naiveté. I’m still young enough and not jaded enough to think that things gone super sour can still pick up. I want to believe in that light in the dark tunnel. I want to find that damn pot of gold at the other end of the rainbow. My cup? It looks pretty half-full to me. I tried. It just wasn’t meant to work out.

Oh well. Tomorrow is JULY 4th!!!! INDEPENDENCE DAY!!!

Apt isn’t it? On the day my friends and I will celebrate America’s independence, I’ll celebrate mine as well!

I need to sleep now because it’s late and I had only 5 hours of sleep the night before.

- T

-----

Voila. That's it. I'm sort of all blogged out now. Look for pictures soon. I'll be sure to update.

Love,

T

ｖ（ｏ＾－＾ｏ） ヤホ～

AHOOOOOOY world!

Well, my super fantastic idea of resetting my router and all that seems to have gone bust on me, so this entire entry is being copy/pasted back in blog land from the hard drive of my compie comp. However, there is a much unexpected perk to doing it like this and that is that my sheet is absolutely blank and encourages me to fill it with all sorts of things. Being that I haven’t really had time to myself to sit down, ponder, digest, and let my mind just process before my pretty blue screen in a long while, I have lots to say and it’s likely not many will notice what I’m trying to express. Oh well. XD

To begin, my weekend started off fantastically. Actually, my week got progressively better from the long hell that was Monday. Monday was just super hard for me because I was so tired and so weary of school. Tuesday was lots better because I got to chill with D-Bang, whom I love for her gracious smiles and sunny persona. Wednesday was LAUNDRY! Yes! I finally have my Otou-san’s schedule down pat, so I do laundry on the days when he’s not around. Doing it like this might seem a bit extreme to you, but he’s a very schedule-oriented, shy Japanese man and having to take a shower while my delicates are in the dryer is apparently very embarrassing for him. Thursday was… Thursday? *laughs* I remember making plans to chill in the gym and watch people practice with Geri, but she suddenly canceled on me so I picked up my G-Event ticket and hiked it on home with D-Bang. I met her friend Rachel [I think it’s like the 50th time we’ve been introduced], who’s super sweet and got an awesome hair cut/dye job the day before. It was really funny because D-Bang couldn’t stop staring at her and going, “Wow, you look so pretty!”

As for meals, I’ve developed a penchant for bananas. This predilection for them has likely arisen from the fact that I miss my brother, a lot. While he was around I bounced between loving every moment with him to wanting to smack him upside the head for being a raucous ass. Now that he’s gone and I only get to hear from him via e-mail, I miss him. Distance really does make the heart grow fonder. However, I ate like a bunch of bananas everyday this week so I’m kind of BA NA NA’ed out. It’s much like how I’m tabehoudai-ed out, but still, my craving for banana delicious and unlimited amounts of yummy meat does come often.

I’ve recently discovered that now that I don’t have G-Splash practice, I’m hungrier than ever. It’s like for that full month and a half of workout hell that I went through, I was starving but didn’t know it, and now that I’m in recovery mode, my body is desperately fighting me to eat more and more. Last night I ate kaiten sushi with Greg and Ben, and I out ate both of them and had a beer to top off my meal. I felt like a salary man. *grins* It’s was a lovely role reversal. Greg had a tabehoudai later on to go to, which explains why he ate so little, but Ben just wasn’t all that hungry I think.

Boo! I’m jumping ahead of myself! OOOOOKAY~ Back to FRIDAY

Friday was sunny and beautiful. I decided to dress super American-like and rock out with a backpack and sneakers with ankle socks. *stage whispers* it’s the sneakers that give us snarky Americans away! After school, I spent a good hour at the school computer lab answering e-mails and fiddling with Facebook. Once I was done with that, I moseyed off to UENO! I walked all over Ueno and then some. Saw tons of homeless people and saw them in a massive crowd waiting for handouts, I think. I got bored of Ueno pretty quickly though because I’d walked through it quite briskly before with Arukoukai [which I am officially no longer a part of]. So, I decided I’d walk to ASAKUSA. I stopped by a 99cent store on the way there and bought some food [and more bananas!] because the “lunch” I ate in the 15-minute break between 1st and 2nd period earlier wasn’t keeping me juiced enough. My lunch was partaken of in a park near Asakusa loaded with little kids screaming and playing. Cutest thing I saw was this little boy calling to a group of little girls, getting ignored by said girls, and then him trying to throw a Frisbee above the metal fence separating the two and failing. It was picture perfect.

Asakusa was packed with tourists and was exactly as I remembered it from 3-4years ago. I even went to the shop where I bought my favorite fish-papered bookmarks from last time and got some wall decorations and more bookmarks. I blew 8,000 yen at that place, but I have no regrets because that’s the store I’m returning to for gifts for my family and friends. Everything there is so Japanese, but it has so much universal appeal that it doesn’t really matter. I LOOOOOOOOOOVE that store. I’m going to drag Mia and Greg to it soon, hopefully. Depends on when those two busy bees aren’t so busy.

I also found my MOST FAVORITE DESSERT EVER!!! I thought I could only ever find it in Kyoto, but I found it again in Asakusa and it was triply delicious. Black sesame seed ice cream!!!! My mom used to make this sweetened soup thing for us from time to time, and it was essentially brown sugar dissolved in water with black sesame seed paste in rice flour balls. I miss it. The reason why I’m craving it so bad is probably because I’m growing increasingly nostalgic of home.
After I walked all over Asakusa, I found like 5 different fugu restaurants which made me wonder why we went through all the trouble of eating it in Osaka. *shrugs* Still, super good times. After Asakusa, I walked back to Ueno, and then I walked all along Okachimachi which is a massive hodgepodge of shops selling everything! Again, it was exactly as I remembered it from years ago. Only this time around, I was alone and not as wide-eyed about everything Japanese. >_>
I got kind of bored of Okachimachi and decided to walk to Ikebukuro. I made it to Myogadani.
So, I kind of walk the width of Tokyo in a day, which just goes to show that it can be done.

Yesterday was BEN KING day! *smiles* Ben is this nice guy I’ve had Japanese with for a couple of years now. In 2nd year Japanese, we were in a group together and made a movie. The name of our group? BeATKuMi. It was an amalgamation of all of our names in Japanese, kind of. Ben, Amanda, Teresa, Christine [Kurisutein], and Mia. Well, he’s here in Japan and we met up with him yesterday in Shibuya, we being me and Mia. Christine’s also in Japan but I haven’t heard anything from her yet.

We were supposed to meet at 9.30 but my alarm didn’t go off, so I didn’t get there until like 9.50 and Ben was just waiting there with a super worried look on his face. Mia was also late, so we were just chatting about until she came. Once we were all grouped up with hoofed it over to the Starbucks in Tsutaya near the crazy Shibuya Crossing and got some coffee while we talked a bit more. Yesterday was mainly talking, chilling, and shopping. Ben got a really nice jacket from Zara’s and a shirt with not just ONE but TWO collars from a store in either Parco or OIOI. I think it’s OIOI but I’m not sure. We walked around a bit more after that and eventually headed out to Roppongi. Greg met up with us there. We did Roppongi Hills and Tokyo Midtown. Then, we went to Shinjuku and got some kaiten sushi. We spent quite a lot of time in Don Quixote and Greg was eyeing some adult goods with me. I don’t know why, but boys need girls to look at naughty stuff with them or else they’re just seen as pervies. *nods solemnly*

I got home pretty early and hopped into the shower. I still crashed kind of late though at about 1.30 am or so because I have the latter half of HYD’s 2nd season downloaded and I wanted to watch it. We were going to watch a movie a Roppongi Hills yesterday, but nobody wanted to pay lots for a movie and nobody wanted to watch the same movie. I eventually want to watch HYD Final though, so I’ll either do it alone or drag someone with me to do it.

Oh yeah! I got an obi and koshi-himo for my yukata! Now I’m all ready to matsuri it! The Tanabata festival is coming up soon, so I’m going to get all dressed up and do it up!

So far, Sunday has been super relaxed. I was going to meet up with Kay so that she could trim/cut my hair, but that plan is bust. We’re going to do it later because Miyako, who we met in Kyoto at the baKpaK hostel, is here in Tokyo! She’s this really awesome person with an amazing mixed accent that blends Japanese, French, and English all together. It’s fascinating. I’ve already done my reading homework for tomorrow and I should read the book that’s due to have been finished last Thursday. Yeah… it’s been a long couple of weeks.

It’s weird, but now that I have tons of free time back, I’m getting compounded left and right with assignments. There’s just no breathing room. I literally have no idea where my time goes sometimes. It just flies out of my hands and I’m left standing, scratching my head and going, “Huh?”

Well, it’s actually the 3month 3day mark, so here’s my newly updated opinion of JAPAN:

Would I ever willingly live here? No. But, if I loved someone here and had a purpose like working or eking out a life here, then yes. Japanese people I feel care too much about societal appearances and keeping them up. I’m such a bum and really lax about things like that, that people who constantly fix their hair or check their reflection in the mirror irk the heck out of me. Most of the Japanese people I’ve met seem genuinely nice and are open to new experiences, but they, are like me in that I too, have a very deep fear of failure. So, if there’s a chance that they’ll be embarrassed or won’t look 100% cool in society’s perception of them, they flip out and run the other way. I run when it’s almost guaranteed I’ll look like a tool. *smiles*

Anyhoo, I’m digressing again. I’m rather terrible at that. I feel like I’ve done everything there is to be done as a “tourist” in Japan. I’m all “tourist” out. I’ve done mostly everything that there is to be done to see “Japan” as a place of recreation and culture as perpetuated by the government as being authentic and recognized. Essentially, I’m over the well done point; I’m just rather burnt and crispy. I don’t know what I’m looking for in Japan anymore. It’s not the shrines, temples, ceremonies. It’s not in the hordes of people crowding the department stores, the lonely side streets of shady Tokyo, and the sweat-drenched peoples all up on each other in dark clubs. I guess, at this point in time, I’m not looking for anything. I just want to hang out with the friends I’ve made here. I want to eat and play with them. I want to go shopping for gifts for my family, get them things that will make their faces split with joy.

So, I’m kind of done with living in Japan and am gradually going into, “Oh, I’m going to leave soon” mood. I have things I want to buy before I go and that’s about it. Memories? Those would be nice too. Just wish they were packaged and kept well under pressure. *winks*
For my host family, well, it’s been an experience. They’re nice people. They’re good people. But, we’ve been dancing around each other for 3 months now and nothing has changed. There’s a limit to how considerate I can be and how I can expect them to be for me.

GOOD POINTS:
- Okaa-san is an amazing cook
- Meimi is a riot when I do get the chance to speak with her
- My room is a little haven and I have A/C in it

BAD POINTS:
- They weren’t ready for me and I wasn’t ready for them
- Otou-san works too much and when he isn’t overworked, the effects of his work still make him less than whole
- Okaa-san has little going for her beyond her family, which is good for some people, but I feel like she had aspired to be more
- Meimi is rebelling, very subtly so, but still… It’s not always fun to be around teenagers as they transition into adults, seeing their selfish helplessness is quite astonishing and makes me want to drop to my knees and apologize to my parents for the hell I put them through

Yeah… so that’s it. I kind of need to take a nap before I start on a sakubun that’s not due until Thursday and a book that’s actually quite interesting.

I hope that everybody reading this is taking good care of themselves and making sure that they’re okay. I feel like people are forgetting how important it is to run out in the rain sometimes or grab an ice cream with a friend.

Love,
T

UPDATE

Well, I still have time before this is posted up, so I’m just going to give a quick run down of my meals with the Matsumoto’s today. Once you read them, I’m sure you’ll realize that life, right now, is pretty sweet for me, meal-wise.

Breakfast: Coffee, egg and mushroom mix, a slice of raisin bread, salad, and a slice of watermelon
Lunch: Water and ramen with chashu.
Dinner: Roast beef with potatoes and carrots, rice, squash, daikon/hotate salad, miso soup, and water.

All the efforts G-Splash made to carve me into a new person are being buffed away by most delicious meals. I can’t say I mind when the means are so wonderfully yummy. Nothing I’ve eaten since Harupa has been, “Oh geez, why did I eat that?! GROSS!” Well, almost nothing, there was that unadon in Kyoto that bordered on disgusting and actually made Kay ill. >_<”
My nap was pretty useless. I didn’t actually sleep too well, but I did sleep. That’s all that really matters in the end isn’t it?

Because I think I can get away it… XD I’ll probably digest for a bit and then do down’s and up’s for a little while. Otou-san should be heading to bed until 8pm or so, and Meimi is heading into the shower now, so that gives me an hour to do everything without driving him nuts. ^^”

Oh yeah, if you can, watch “Last Friends” the Japanese Drama. It’s super good! It deals with lots of current issues that are rather rare I suppose, like domestic violence, infidelity, the consequences of child molestation, and gender confusion. I love it.

GO WATCH!

眠い （ｚ＿Z)

Do you all see that wacky face/title? Only in Japan could I get away with that... *whee*

I'm in a super hot computer lab and need to make this quick. LIKE SNAP!

*poof*

- yeah, that was written like a week ago... -

WELL~

hello world,

I am OFFICIALLY back from one of the best trips ever with some of the most awesome people ever. Remember the randomly decided trip to Kyoto? Well, we pulled it off with little to no glitches, the only trip up being that Hunter couldn't get a ticket to come back on the same night as us [but he ended up having more fun anyways].

Last week went by in a blur. I had a test, think. I also realized that without G-Splash practice and something dictating to me exactly what to do, I'm pretty useless exercise-wise. My only form of exercise is walking for miles on end for the sheer fun of it. Pretty great, eh?

Well, Friday rolled around. I packed my bag. I went to Tokyo Station. I found my bus. I found that it was assigned seating and I could've just boarded at Shinjuku-eki. I sat next to an irritated old woman for 7 hours. My Unisom failed to get me sleepened. I arrived at 5am in Kyoto and was just bomb ass tired. We walked around all day. We partied at the 5th floor lounge of Bakpak Hostel in Kyoto.

That's as basic as I can get it. All in all, on Saturday we hit up: Toufukuji, Touji, and Kiyomizudera. Sunday we traveled to Osaka after hitting up Sanjyuusangendo. We rocked it up at Spa World.

I got back to Tokyo at like 6am on Monday. I had a presentation that day. Sophia's campus doesn't open until 8am. I freshened up at Yotsuya Station, meaning I washed my face and brushed my teeth and everything there.

Tuesday I chilled with D-Bang and we hit up Meiji Jingu and then went to TMG to see Tokyo from the observatory they have there. TODAY, I am doing laundry. I just finished one load of whites and my colors are about to finish. As soon as I toss my pants and other ish into the dryer, I'm off to nap.

I need to walk it out now.

Peace

- T

*drum rolls*

<--- that is the goofy x 130981237128 man that i had the pleasure of dealing with for 2 weeks. *grins*

Well, after hours and hours of fiddling and fumbling with the wireless network at home, I have officially abandoned the lovely AOSS button ala Buffalo router and just went ahead and input my own passwords as such. The result? My connection is so much more stable now and I haven't had to reset it in the last 30 minutes. IT'S A BEAUTIFUL THING!!!

John officially flew back to Beijing yesterday on NW29 leaving from gate 25 at 6:55pm, as the flight had been delayed 10 minutes before he even checked in. After I saw him through security, I hiked on over to the South Wing of Narita Airport and officially CHANGED my airplane ticket. I am now heading back home August 8 on the 4pm flight out of Narita ala UA804. *cheers*

Now, the only problem I have is informing my host mom of the following:

1: I'm eating out with Mia Mia tomorrow and won't be needing dinner

2: I'm heading out to Kyoto Friday and won't be back in Tokyo until Monday morning, given that I can find a bus ticket in time... a reasonably priced bus ticket

3: I'm definitely moving out the 31st of July but won't be flying anywhere. I'll be living at a hotel until camp starts, leave my luggage there and return for it after camp is over.

Now, I haven't actually really talked to her these last 2 weeks because of John, G-Splash, and life just kicking me in the head. I went to school this morning and didn't realize why I felt so nasty until halfway through 1st period when I made Natalie touch my forehead, followed by Jen. It turns out I have a bit of a fever as a result of drinking poisoned water. DON'T DRINK WATER LEFT IN UNWASHED WATER BOTTLES!!! >_> I'm learning that one the hard way.

So, I'm definitely in HOUSE now. With Geri! Yay! I was trying to decide between Hip Hop, Girls Hip Hop, and House, but after being kicked around by the HHs, I dusted off my furry bottom and hopped on over to House where they have the patience of saints and are willing to teach lil' ole super un-coordinated me.

In order to prep myself for the joy that is House, I'm starting to listen to House music and I have to say... I don't get it. Did I get the really bad stuff or what? It's likely. *shrugs* I'll ask the senpai what's good.

SO...

I kind of need to get a round bus ticket. Like ASAP. Yeah... *looks aside*

I randomly decided to go to Kyoto with Hunter and Kay plus 1 guy I've never met. Apparently the reservations for the hostel have already been made. So, I really need to get a jump on that.

----- BACKKKKKKK -----

OKAY. So, I have my tickets, and I'll be riding down to Kyoto before long. Yeah. ^______^

All it did was set me back 10,400yen. But hey, once in a lifetime experience, yeah? No... I've kind of already been there, so no. XD Oh well. Lots of pictures. Hangin' with new friends. Let's see how badly we can drive each other all crazy.

Oh yes, before I forget:

Brandon - English

David - English

Paolo - Italian

Nick - American

Just for me own little brain. I need to grub majorly bad now, so I'll be seeing ya around. I'll post the link to all of my pictures soon.

- T

終わり！！！

IT'S OOOOOOOOOOVER~

*laughs maniacally* This is the final result of being up for 17 consecutive hours with no sleep, lots of alcohol [no drunken stupor], hours of loud bass, and tons of insane dancing.

Harupa is over!

The show that I have been practicing like crazy for with EVERYBODY else in G-splash is over and I'm both relieved and saddened by the fact that I won't see people's pretty pretty faces everyday. From now on, our senpai are splitting off into groups for G-Event which will be on July 12th at Womb in Shibuya. Essentially, they're performing all day and we'll be cheering them on like crazy. I still have yet to buy my ticket because Maro-senpai and Yuki-senpai didn't remind me... *sneaks off into a shady corner*

Let's see, how to begin this post, eh? Well... I suppose it's already well under way so I may as well begin at how this week was, both pre- and post-HARUPA. Pre-Harupa I was pretty damn miserable. I was tired everyday. Lacking sleep. About to pass out in practice. AND THEN, there was Thursday...

I went balls to the wall. HARD. BUT I met every single one of my senpai in G-Splash, and I'm pretty sure everybody remembers me. I'm a pretty fantastic person to get drunk with, I must admit it. I'm a happy, cheerful, friendly drunk. My maternal instincts also kick in like crazy so I make sure everybody is having a bomb ass time. Also, if I don't notice how you're not having fun, but you really want to have fun like I am, I include you in. I'm pretty sweet that way.... >_<" *blushes like crazy*

Well, as a result of the insanity that is G-Splash, I missed all my classes Friday, which is just two. However, those two classes were the ones that I probably should have gone to as I have exams in both on Monday. *shrug* My awesome friend Natalie has already sent me a detailed e-mail regarding everything I need to know for one of the the exams so I'm not stressed at all. The other exam will just entail me memorizing an entire passage in Japanese, particles and all, whee~

I kind of ambled in to our LAST practice on Friday, still semi-drunk [yes, I did hit the bottle that hard]. Tonbo-senpai was nowhere to be seen, but rumor had it that he was likely just passed out somewhere. Akko-senpai [who I'd been callin A-ko senpai] was the only one there to give us words of wisdom and make us form a circle of love and share our sweet sweet feelings. Yes, there were tears. No, my Japanese was so horrible I likely said something non-sensible. *CHEEESE* We did our final run through and then broke for the night. Our senpai's went out drinking again. This time, they did it in a park nearby. I was still pretty bomb blasted from Thursday's lovely evening of fun, so I headed on home, showered, popped a Unisom, and passed out.

SATTTTTTTTTTTURDAY

I woke up a little later than usual so that I'd have enough energy to make it through the rest of the day. A little later than usual is 7.35am. XD I was out of the house by 9am but right as I was heading out, Okaa-san asked me to open the windows in my room and ventilate. I ended up making it to the morning meeting right on time. As in, giri giri. We did morning stretches and then broke up to head out to Shin-kiba on our own. Half of us went to Komora Soba and the other half grabbed food at the 7-11 on campus. I got this most delicious pasta thing at the 7-11 and learned how to operate the microwave! *SCORE*

We did a random photo shoot on the train. Steph has this amazing camera that I completely adore her for. All the girls were doing their makeup. Anson was just the odd one out, but we made him our pimp daddy in a number of pictures so I'm sure he loved it. *laughs* We got to Studio Coast aka Ageha and had to wait out in the hot hot hot x 23812847247 sun for a while. When we finally got in, I found out that we were up first! YAY! G-SPLASH IS AMAZING! J also went and he took a video of our performance! Whenever I get my camera back I'll be sure to post it up.

I totally killed our dance. Nailed every move. Was on beat on EVERYTHING. It was fantastic. I ran off stage feeling on Cloud 9. I then spent the next 8 hours wondering why the hell I didn't leave earlier between bouts of going "Wow! That group is fantastic!!!" or "Uhm... what the hell are they doing on stage?" John left after the first set that lasted from 1.30 until 3.15. I stuck around, changed into my afterparty clothes in the bathroom, and headed out to Ikebukuro with Hunter.

Oh yeah, during Harupa, there was this amazing artist named ISOPP that was wonderful... but he picked the wrong topic/source to remind people to cherish ever day of their lives and the ones they love. He picked the A-bomb. Hunter turned to me halfway through and asked, "Is this going to get my ass beat?" My reply? "I don't know, maybe..." And that's all I'll say on that.

We went to the wrong exit at Ikebukuro because Kaoru-san told us this morning that is was NISHI-guchi aka WEST exit. And then, through e-mails, I found out that it was HIGASHI-guchi bka EAST exit. Yeah. We hauled ass and once we got there, we belatedly discovered that we were 30 minutes early. *shrugs*

Last night was just really long. Seriously. One of the longest nights of my life. I did a lot of talking though, got to know some people much better. I found out a bit more about all of my senpai, and here I will list my most interesting observances.

- Tonbo-san is insanely funny. He can only take pictures when drunk/intoxicated. He practices like crazy and was the voice of Akko-san's unspeakable opinions.

- Akko-san is unbelievably sweet and cute. I also think I kind of scare her because I can be extremely lovey dovey/huggy. I like giving people hugs and I really don't think she's used to it so... yeah... *smiles ridiculously wide* I told her I was deciding between House and Hip hop, and she was like, "The House-senpai are all really nice. You'll really like it there." ^^" Decision made... maybe~

- Kaoru-san is super responsible/quiet. It was really weird because every time I tried to talk to him or ask him something he'd answer my question to someone else around me or like run away... ^^

- Masa-san is a kikoku!!! He spent 3 years in the States, from 8 to 11. In Kentucky, the land of chicken. In Elizabethtown. I had no idea he spoke English. But, apparently it's because he doesn't really like speaking it. Maybe he was teased about it when he was younger... I derno.

- Hitosu-senpai [I think that's his name, he tried to enunciate really clearly but he'd had a number of shots of sake] works all night at McDonald's from like 11 to 6am and he goes to school as a full time student. INSANE! He's also studying English and wants to understand the lyrics to hip hop songs... Yeah. I don't think most Japanese people would be dancing so happily to some of the hip hop music they bounce to if they knew that much of the songs they choose are chauvinistic, violent, gang-related, or involves drug dealings. *shrugs* Just a thought. He also had ridiculously pretty eyes. I was kind of mesmerized by them.

- Coco-san is from BEIJING. I talked with her on Thursday about her tenure there but I was drunk, so I only remember bits and pieces of our conversation. *blush* She's really nice and will be studying in the States next year.

- A~bo-san, long AHHH ^^, is a pretty cool guy. He apologized again about the thing with not letting J come to the afterparty. I'm pretty sure he's dating Risa-san. I saw them holding hands during Harupa.

And here are my general observations about G-Splash in general:

The senpai really keep to themselves but they are ALL NICE. Literally, every single one of them. I don't think you can really be in G-Splash without being somewhat nice. It'd make the endless series of practices really hard if you were a constant bitch and people hated being around you, yeah?

Kouhai are equally insane. PERIOD.

All the guys that wear hats, KEEP THEM ON. Really. Like, if you even try to take it, then they get really pissed and embarrassed. Every single guy whose hat I saw get taken immediately covered their hair with their hands and rushed to get it back. Tonbo-san. Yuuya-san. Masa-san. Kaoru-san. Every single one.

Everybody wears the same socks. Seriously. It's kind of amusing. Kay has this thing for one of our senpai, and she asked Akko-san what to do to get his attention. Her advice? Wear the same type of socks... ^__________^

Now that I won't be sweating through tank tops, sweats, and t-shirts everyday... I'll admit it, I'll really miss it. I loved working out with everyone. When you dance alone or practice alone, you're more likely to stop sooner because you don't think you can take anymore. With others around you, there's this incentive to push yourself harder, farther, longer. Oh well, it'll pick up in time for camp.

I'm a bit tired now. I did only get 5 hours of sleep in. My body was rebelling against the idea of being in bed past 9am. Seriously.

*vamooses off somewhere fun*

- T

疲れた！！！

Hmmm... I think it's about time I dropped an update on my life with John in the country before G-Splash practice catches up to me.

^^"

SO! We've had practice every day since last Friday. EVERY DAY. I am so tired that this is the first time I've ever truly come close to passing out/blacking out. Even when Dan and Rose were here and I had a cold and took them around between dance practice for G-Splash, I wasn't this exhausted. It's soooookai tho, you know why? Because the show is in TWO DAYS. All of our efforts, our dedication, our time, our strength is going into 4 eight-counts of a dance. We have 30 seconds to OWN the stage and make sure every person in the crowd goes, "Ohhhhhhhhhhh SNAP~ G-Splash kids are like SUPER genki!"

I had a midterm for Intensive Japanese 3 on Monday. I ditched 2nd and 3rd period to run to the airport and pick J up. His flight ended up arriving an hour early so I managed to get to practice early. Afterwards we ate and parted ways.

Tuesday was walking in the rain and chilling with J for the better part of the day. He found out that one of the girls here, Kay, is the same Kay that he met back in high school, during his Key Club days. Yes, J really knows the entire world. No joke.

Wednesday was me doing homework... kind of. I really forget for the most part what the hell I was doing yesterday, forgive my language XD. I ate spaghetti with J. What the heck did I do for those hours between practice and the end of class? OH YEAH!!! I finished my medical school application. I'm just waiting for all of my transcripts to come in and my recommendations to arrive at Interfolio. *winks*

I'm nearly there!!!! YESSS~

I'm running low on money because I'm eating out like crazy and G-Splash is sucking the life blood out of me. It costs loads of deniro to be in the dance circle, but every yen is worth it. It's better than a freaking gym membership because they are ON YOU to go to practice. That, and you learn skills that are usable within [J's words] "circles of love" formed at clubs and other such lovely gatherings. But, as he pointed out, the only "circle of love" ever made in a D.C. club is when a fight is about to break out or girls are gathering together to protect each other from the shady shady men dancing up on them.

Oh, I learned something really fun today. Apparently Spain has this 3 hour nap time much like China does and it's called siesta. Fun, no?

I'm coughing like crazy but my body [beyond the faint spells] is completely 100%. Bit strange, but I figure I'll adjust eventually. I also need to pick up some meds to make sure I don't wipe out before the performance. This is really bad but we've already lost a few dancers due to injuries and illness. It's freakin' ridiculous but yeah... we're dropping like flies.

But yeah, time to return to the original point of this post, J!

He's here. He's taking care of himself. He's a wonderful influence on me. I feel like I have a damn sun shining over my head whenever he's around because he's just so positive and always looking/pushing forward. We really are just way too caught up in our own drama sometimes to look at the bigger picture. I haven't seen him in months and now I get to see his goofy face every day. He'll be gone for 27 months after this. Apparently, I could get pregnant, have my kid, raise it to be 1 year old before I run into him again. Weird, no?

Time to change for practice. I need to stretch out like crazy. Prevent those injuries.

*scoops it up like a ball of dippin' dotssss*

- T

ボケット： 空っぽいな～

CHEESE!!!

i'm alive!!!

no, you're not imagining it. i do have those dark circles under my eyes and there is no ghost in this picture... ><"

hahaha. okay, i just kind of needed to do that. *wipes away a fake tear* my internet randomly dropped out when I was trying to type this, so I had to run on downstairs, ojyama Okaa-san, and re-register the pin code of my compie. alas, it works now and i am back and snug in my own lil room.

well, this is a bit late, but 2 month impression!!!

Japan is still very much JAPAN. There are numerous quirks to this place, especially given that they seem to be obstreperously [sp?] proud of their homogenity. So strange. So true. I've also learned that no matter where you go on this Earth, people with no manners will be there. I've also learned to just laugh and smile, a lot. Hit in the ribs by a little old lady looking to get out of the bus? Laugh it off. Pushed out of a train car by the crowd surging out? Grin and walk it out. Shoved sideways and cut in front of by Japanese people waiting to get into a train? Just shake your head and let'em at it, obviously they have more urgency than me, and a heck of a lot less patience.

I'm rounding my learning curve now, and it's just... normal. My host family is still pretty much the same except that the same issues keep resurfacing, namely laundry and as a result the electricity bill. I'm pretty sure I have a huge part in upping their electricity bill, as I am the one in the house who a) blow dries her hair every night, b) uses her notebook computer like an addict, and c) uses the dryer for her clothes. Still, Otou-san via Okaa-san expresses much disappointment in my habits, but let's face it, if they haven't gotten used to me doing my laundry the way I do it now, they never will, period. Silly people.

You see, we've had all sorts of discussions in Japanese class, in place of actual learning of course, but the point is we've covered the concepts of "mottainai [wastefulness]" and "kougi suru gimu [duty to protest even minor wrongdoings]." I can understand how the electricity in a city like Tokyo is super expensive and all, but if the money my parents paid aren't going to support my lifestyle, than where is it headed towards? If it gets to be even more pickly from now on, I may have to change course and just start lugging my laundry around to do it elsewhere, ala super commercial duty coin laundries. I passed one once, by here, it was a 15 min walk away... ><"

Well, I suppose that's the end of my impression. Japanese people are just crazy. That, and they have a really high opinion of themselves and their habits, much more so than us "loud Americans." At least, we'll admit to being fat and loud. We just kind of smile, shrug, and go, "Yeah... that's us!"

With the Japanese, they seem to get super affronted at any non-positive criticism that's thrown at them. Like, if you throw a random general observation at them:

"You guys smell a bit wonky after a long, hot day. Don't Japanese use deoderant?"

They'll just stare at you like you've grown a second head and be like, "What the!?!? HOW RUDE~"

But, how does calling someone smelly and another fat not essentially equate? They're both mighty offensive. *shrug* Don't dish it if you can't take it. *nah nah nah*

OOOOOOOOOOH YEAH~

A lovely update on my brother's stay here in Japan. He's extended his trip so he'll be here from the 2nd of June all the way until the 16th, leaving me with 2 whole weeks of his lovely company. That also means 2 whole weeks were I'll again be struggling to balance family, clubs, and schoolwork. Let's hope I don't get sick this time! It'll be much easier if I don't. Truly.

I'm a bit sleepy now. And hungry. And tired... *grins*

*zippity offs to somewhere*

- T

弟が来る！！！！

AHHHHHHHHHHHOY~

well maties, i feel like i have been slacking off like crazy in terms of keeping this lovely blog of mine updated for all you slackers/stalkers out there. i have, really. then again, life = school + family + club activities have finally come full circle, so i'm up to my neck in heaps of trouble [not really, but you get the gist, no?]

uhm yeah, my med school application is supposed to be ready by 6/4/08. i am anywhere near ready for this ball thrown from left field? NOPE! this lovely fire-ball of "ackkkkkkk" just hit me out of nowhere as i was randomly wasting time in the computer labs at Sophia one day. yeah. way way way LEFT FIELD. i think that's how you say it, baseball terms aren't really my forte.

on to the bestest news ever!

MY BROTHER IS COMING!!! FROM BEIJING!!! TO SEE ME PERFORM WITH G-SPLASH AT STUDIO COAST ON 6/7!!!

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS~

yeah. i'm just a whole bundle of joy now. i have 8 hours of practice tomorrow, so i need to be sleeping now.

i have a uber good goal now! to be super fantastic for my brother! and for all the other people who are actually paying to see us perform! YAY!

*runs, jumps, skips into bed*

night x2 all

- T

久しぶり： ブリブリ大好き

Hey all,

It's been a long long while it seems since I last dropped an inshyou (印象) on everybody. Golden Week is sadly over and time well spent with my family is over a week in the far, distant past. Life has gotten dramatically better for me, so why don't I start with that?

Well, since I've walked away from everybody, leaving people panting with bated breath... (no, really ><") We had this random holiday last Tuesday to celebrate the birthday of the dearly departed Emperor Showa. I had planned to go to Yokohoma with friends from DK and G-Splash, but laundry kept me at bay. After a day, stuck indoors all the while the sun was shining its pretty, godly face down upon the Earth, I resolved to leave the Matsumoto household. I was just so sad and miserable there that I couldn't understand or convince myself to stay. So, the day after break, I went to the Overseas Liasion Center and told Mr. Nakayama Ei all of my problems. He listened to me kindly and said that if I wanted to, I could move from the Matsumoto's to DK House. But, before doing so, it would require me to talk to them in a detailed, calm manner. After G-Splash practice Wednesday night, I went home and was kept waiting outside for 15 minutes as nobody was present and I don't hold a key ( and may never hold one).

To be quite honest, being kept outside the house resolved me to leaving. I thought it was unbelievably ridiculous that I had to be kept waiting outside of a home that I paid to reside in. When Okaa-san and Meimi came home, they greeted me and apologized. They had gone to the local Police box (kouban) because Meimi had a traffic accident the Saturday previously and didn't recollect the incident until forcefully brought to the Nurse's office earlier that day, whereupon she was suddenly flooded with details of the incident. Well, I didn't say much, just nodded my head and asked to take a shower in a quiet, mellow voice. I also asked to speak to Okaa-san in depth after my shower and dinner and she consented.

I just realized that I have this all written in a post I did on my notebook, but I'll leave it here and post what I wrote earlier later on. End result is this, I'm staying with the Matsumoto's. Life isn't grand there, but I can breath much more easily now and don't dread going home.

OOOOOKAY~

ONTO GOLDEN WEEK DETAILS:

Friday - Club Ageha
Saturday - Recovering from Ageha (literally)
Sunday - Harajuku's Meiji-Jingu, Ikebukuro's Namja Town, and Shinjuku Karaoke
Monday - Ochanomizu's Kanda Myojin (?), Music Area, Jinbocho's Used Book Stores, and Ikebukuro's Libro
Tuesday - Kamakura

Friday was... friday (?). It ended. I went to play at the manga cafe near my house for the better part of the day. That night, I went to Club Ageha, which was an experience. Overall, $35 to get in was a bit ridiculous, but it's something that every young person heading to Japan should try at least once to see whether or not they're comfortable with it. I feel like I need to do it one more time with a different group of people before I can definitely decide whether I hate it or not. The only thing that really mars my memory of the club is that I was pushed/tripped/fell down the stairs and have this series of massive bruises running down my left side to show for it. I seriously looked like a battered female at the moment. ^^" Also, I got my chest groped in a seriously out and out conspicuous manner. This guy walks past me, grabs my chest, gives my bra a good hefting, and then saunters on by as if it's the most natural thing to do. I glared at him the entire time and he just gives me the peace sign. Really. Japanese youth are rather... insane when intoxicated.

Saturday was my day of RR from the events of Ageha. Greg invited a bunch of us out for karaoke, but I had to turn him down as the thought of leaving the house at any point in time during Saturday was just beyond me. I made plans for a culture-packed day of fun with Hunter though.

Sunday was culture-driven craziness with Hunter. Unfortunately for him, he may have come upon the delayed realization that I really love to walk and walk everywhere. Sunday morning, I arrive at Shinjuku-eki 15 min before I'm due to meet Hunter at Harajuku, so I decide to run on over to the TMG building to pick up copies of the maps and coupons I gave away to my cousins a week earlier. It took me like 45 min to grab everything because I got lost twice and the building was locked all around except for one entrance that couldn't be really seen from the street level. I finally met up with Hunter, all sweaty and gross, but victorious with handfuls of maps and goody good coupons. We did Meiji-jingu. Wrote prayers. Went to the Treasure Museum. Walked lots. Then, we went to Oriental Bazaar because that's what Frommer's told me to do and Hunter picked up a number of presents for his friends back home. We were rather ravenous by then (me especially because he happened to describe the most amazing way to eat French bread that made my mouth water), so we head out to Ikebukuro for some GYOUZA DELICIOUSNESSITY. Gyouza Stadium in Namja Town within Ikebukuro's Sunshine City was a bit of a trial. Because of Golden Week, no matter where we went it was massively crowded. Namja Town was no exception. We ate. We went through some free attractions. By the time we left, it was too late to do Ueno, so we settled in to do some shopping around Ikebukuro. We bought clothes. He found a gift for his sister. At that time, Hunter got a message from Greg about some karaoke fun. Since I had yet to do karaoke in Japan, I said "Why not?" We met up with Greg in Shinjuku and after some crepe dessert, we settled in to finding a karaoke place. We found one. I did the talking because Greg was tired of doing the Japanese bargaining every time he went out, I do it every time I go out. Jen met up with us. We did karaoke. We drank nomihoudai. We sang horribly bad. Overall, fantastic day.

Monday I got off to a bit of a late start and just did some random solo tourist fun. I got hit on at a strand by a older Japanese man who went: "Oh wow, I thought you were Japanese." And then told me in English, "You, beautiful girl!" It was... different. *looks to the side* I was trying to find my texts for Modern Literature 2, but I couldn't. Because it was a holiday, most of the used bookstores were sadly closed. I could barely find them in Kinokuniya and I still have yet to locate the book, The Setting Sun by Dazai Osamu, that I have to have finished reading by tomorrow. Turns out that even the bookstore the school depends on is out of that book, so I'm just right out of luck. Monday was fun though. Only weird/bad point of the day is when I was looking at a map of Libro in Ikebukuro and coughed into my elbow behind this guy who was too looking at the map. This guy apparently thought I coughed on him because he went right behind me and coughed on me. No joke. Japanese people can be so weird sometimes.

Tuesday was amazing. I did Kamakura. I'm actually quite tired of temples so not much of it was fantastic. The best point of the day was that I walked, lots. I love walking. It was sunny, bright, and beautiful. I wore a tank top and halter dress with knee-highs (to cover up my many bruises). I have tons of pictures from yesterday, but I'm typing this here at Sophia, so I can't really do much a la picture posting. Best of all, when I got home, I arrive to find Okaa-san had made tempura for dinner! SCORE! I had "Chinese" food in Kamakura, which is ridiculous if you think about it. The lady didn't even speak Chinese, but my Cha-siu wonton ramen was good in a Chinese-y Japan-ified way.

Today is sunny and gorgeous too. But, I'm here. On campus. Trying to figure out when G-Splash practice is. I have a sakubun do tomorrow that I'm not too interested in doing and a test to study for. School is just... a hassle(?). None of the work is really challenging. Again, I think I covered this in my other post that's on my notebook, so I'll post that to cover this part of my entry.

Oh yeah, it's been a little bit late but:

AFTER ONE MONTH - Impression of Japan

Japanese people are evaders. If they can find a way to avoid conflict, they will. They are passive aggressive to the nth degree and if you don't realize that soon, be prepared to be frustrated out of your mind. They have a truly astounding sense of beauty, but it has been my finding that most of Japan is manufactured to be "beautiful." If even it's "natural" beauty is not by the hand of Mother Nature, then can it really be considered "natural"? *shrug* It'll probably take me a little while longer to figure out exactly how I feel about Japan, but for now, I'm just rather grateful to be American. Americans may be considered rude, stupid, and brash, but at least we as a people are willing to try and are overall more straight forward than not. I am Chinese-American, but I'm much more American than my Chinese heritage makes me Chinese. Life in Japan is like life anywhere else in the world. The laws are generally the same, don't litter and don't kill strangers. The lifestyles are different as are the beliefs, but for every difference there is, there's a common ground that allows us to sympathize with lives that are carried out in a manner wholly different from one's own society.

There. That's my opinion of life in Japan. After a month. It'll likely change loads as time moves on. But, for now. This is where it's at.

Time for homework now.

*crack snap whip*

pc
- T